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Our 13-year-old daughter has a reading disability. How do you show her not to use the LD as a crutch when she does poorly in school? Also, her lying to make herself “look good” around others is disheartening? Help!

I need more information to fully answer. How significant are her reading disabilities? Does she receive special education services? Accommodations? If she is struggling in middle school with little help to address her disabilities and minimal accommodations, she should be frustrated and trying to avoid the work. If she has received the proper help in the past and continues to receive help, does she fully understand her disabilities and how to compensate for them?

Her poor self image and the need to cover it up to “look good” suggest to me that she may not have had the necessary help to compensate for her reading disabilities or that she is not receiving adequate services/accommodations now. If she has had all of this and still feels the way she does, she may need counseling to better understand/accept her disabilities. If she has not had adequate help and school (parents?) still “blame the victim” for not keeping up, then the adults need to rethink what they are doing to contribute.

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