Help

Bad behavior should have consequences. Good behavior needs to be rewarded. If a dog can understand that concept than so should a child you’d think. Because there is so much goin on in the sesorium of an ADD child they are UNABLE to attenuate all the information the brain and world wants them to process. so try to get it through the thick heads of his school it’s not a matter of won’t it’s a matter of can’t. The point system is not going to work. He’ll only fail and end up feeling like a failure. Doesn’t sound like the meds are working either. Your kid is experiencing overload and it’s making him go hay wire. Perhaps modifying his enviroment would ease his symptoms.

You really gotta get rid of the smiley faced point system crap in the class room. It’s a form of ridicule. His peer will be finger pointing. Cruel kid usually have lousy parents. Being a teacher yooou probably believe academia is the be all and end all. It isn’t. One smart solution for his class would be cooperation and understanding on the part of his teacher and his fellow students. That would require patience and kindness. How can we help Johnny as opposed to, Johnny is a behavior problem. Of course he’s a behavior problem DUHHH! The question is how do we help HIM? Certianly not the point system. How Neanderthal!!

I have several suggestions based on my son’s experience.

First, and don’t laugh: Does he snore or need a lot of sleep? Sleep apnea manifests in children as ADHD “behaviors” and needs to be ruled out.

Second, read Dr. Jacqueline Stordy’s book, “The LCP [longchainpolyunsaturated fattyacids] Solution: The Remarkable Nutritional Treatment for ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.” Many children with these diagnoses are deficient in essential fatty acids and supplementation can reduce ADHD behaviors dramatically! You can also go to her website www.drstordy.com

Thirdly, consider getting a neurofeedback evaluation from a qualified neurofeeback practitioner. If your child really has ADHD, it will show up on his EEG. Neurofeedback is a form of biofeedback and there is a protocol to retrain the brainwaves which in turn changes behavior. You can do a search on the internet for neurofeedback and get a lot of information.

When my son behaves inappropriately, he has very little control over it. It is a physiological response. Consequences aren’t very effective. We have to think outside the box to get to the root causes of the negative behaviors.

I’m waiting until next week to post the story of diagnosing and treating my son’s sleep apnea. So far the behavior change is quite positive but I want a little more phenonmena before I share our experience.

Thank you for your advice. It helps to know others feel the same way. I feel like I need a support group. Often I get frustrated and feel like the world views me as a bad mom. It is easy as a parent to flip flop between he can control it and he can’t. I experience around the house just as much frustrations as the teacher does I am sure. I am a single mom and their never seems to be enough hours in the day to give my son what he needs. I try and I will keep on trying.
Thanks again.
Brandie

Linda,
I have heard this sleep problem association before. My son does not snore but he does often have a restless sleep where he tosses and turns and talks out.
I have been told the cure to this is having tonsils removed. Exactly, what have you done?

I am so glad to see parents looking at other possibilities other than just drugging the kids. I have a 9 year old who I have had 2 sleep studies on. And a EEG when he was 2 years old. He has always had sleep problems, since birth. The last sleep specialist told me to go ahead and put him on meds for the ADHD that the sleep study would not reflect the drugs in the results. I said no. The sleep study showed some problems but the specialist wrote on the results that it would not be sufficient enough for him to have behavior problems at school. I guess he thought that I had just fallen off the turnip truck. One problem was that he showed no obstructive sleep apnea but he was hypoventilating (not to be confused with hyperventilating) and was not releasing a proper amount of Carbon dioxide when he exhaled. He also had severals arousals during sleep but the specialist refused to list this as a sleep disorder that would cause behavior problems. For readers that may not know this, sleep plays a vital role in not only our behavior but our general health. Your brain does important healing of the body during sleep cycles and rejuvenates our organs and tissues. Proper sleep cycles are as important as the length of time we are sleeping. I have spent the last 8 years trying to educate my self with what ever information I can get and I do believe that along with sleep, diet, nutrition, and toxins are a big to blame in the epidemic of ADHD/ADD/Autism. And we can blame our government for allowing this to happen. There are a lot of things up in the air as to what the culprit is, the multiple shots that they have triple the lead poisoning our clinics are giving our kids, the preservatives, the processed foods, the pollution, the list goes on and on. Something to think about.

Brandie,

I replied to you via email, but I thought I’d post here too in case any one else is interested.

Your child should probably be evaluated for obstructive sleep apnea or other sleep disorders.

Tonsillectomy “cures” 95% of children’s sleep apnea. The other 5% usually need CPAP or bipap which involves a little machine that pushes air through one’s airway via a mask over one’s nose that one has to wear while sleeping. Not fun, but the only way to get a good, restful night’s sleep for some people. My son has just started this week, and I’ll holding off posting about it until I have a little more data on how it’s working.

I think a support/advocacy groupwould be a good idea. Churches hospitals and libraraies often have meeting rooms for this purpose. Say for instance you had a parent yhat was getting the shaft by the school system 5 or 6 angry parents showing up in force at the school could have alot of impact. You’d also get media attention. Newspapers radio TV and cable public access will announce your meetings for free.

You are not a bad mom. Just the fact that you are concerned and trying to help the child proves that. Your child is suffering and your mission is to make the block heads at your school understand that and accommodate him. If you believe that the school is unable or unwilling to do their job remove your child from the abuse.

Could you employ the help of aunts uncles or grand parents to help out? Maybe Big Brother Big Sisters could be helpful in providing the extra nurturing he needs.

I would first like to say after visiting this board and reading all the comments, I am starting to believe that there are actually people out there that understand. I have a loving 10 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 years old. Academically, he is an extremely high achiever, I have been blessed with a wonderful elementary school that has worked with my husband and me in steering our son down the right path academically. However, there are times that both my husband and I would love to get in a car and drive as far away as possible. We have struggled with home discipline problems. I have read books, tried reward programs and am starting to feel like a complete failure as a parent. My husband and I were raised with traditional parenting and have tried to think “out of the box” but don’t know where to go from here. Is there anyone out there that struggles with the homelife side of things. I am looking for any suggestions on discipline ideas that may have worked to create a more effective way of teaching trust, honesty and responsibility. I know in my heart that I have a wonderful, thoughtful, compassionate and loving child, but I worry about his lack of responsibility, honesty, and most importantly self-esteem. Please help………we are not giving up but I would love any suggestions…..