Hi - am new to this board. I need help! I am so not looking forward to September. My 13 year old daughter will be in 8th grade this year. She was diagnosed with SLD at the end of 6th grade. She had been tested in 2nd and 3rd grade but did not qualify for any special education. Her scores were low - just not low enough then… They tested her at the end of 6th grade so she started in special education in middle school. Not the best time for a 13 year old - with puberty and middle school!!!! She just wants to fit in - doesn’t want to be “different” in any way - and especially not being in special-ed. And yes, the kids know what classes are the special education ones.
She started the year in a special education math class and a special education reading/social studies class and in a regular English and Science class (which she did fail). Her main struggle is with her reading comprehension - tests at a 4th grade level (88%) but weirdly her reading words per minute is high - 7th grade level (197 words per minute with 2 errors). Of course with her comprehension level being so low , all other subjects are being affected. The school psychologist think she should be re-tested and should have been classified as “language disabled”. He also wants me to put her in all special education classes. Actually he told me I was being neglectful if I didn’t - that I needed to make sure she was accepting that she has a disability and limitations.
She absolutely hated last year - every day was a battle to get her to school. She cried almost every day - said she hated herself, hated me for putting her in the “stupid” classes, etc… She missed so much school that I was threatened with court. If I hadn’t been so involved and talking constantly to her counselor they would have taken that route. She sees a therapist weekly to try and help her with her feelings, etc… And her school counselor was very involved in helping her….I just don’t know what to do though….Am I being neglectful for not making her be in all special-ed classes? Kinda hard when she went through K to 6 in all regular classes and then now being told she is only capable of this…..mostly hard on her…I try to say all the right things, but I am seeing my formerly happy child now hating herself and feeling stupid. And the academic success that she has had with the special education classes (a’s)hasn’t helped - she just says , “oh well, it’s an A in the stupid class”. She is a very pretty girl and is a cheerleader (kinda a “barbie” type - girly-girl) and I think this doesn’t help with the teasing. It’s almost like the other kids derive pleasure from finding out what they see as something wrong with her. I am so afraid that she is going to end up dropping out. Don’t get me wrong - I know that I have a lot to be grateful for - she’s a beautiful healthy child. But she does stand out, because she does look so main-stream and some of the kids don’t… I can’t blame her for being so uncomfortable. I would be too -would not want to be labeled a “sped”. It doesn’t help that her older brother ( a year older) doesn’t hardly have to crack open a book to get an A. I am a widow , so I don’t really have hundreds of extra dollars a month for special tutoring. She is not going to be able to pass the regular classes at this point - but won’t go into all special-ed classes. Can they make me do that? And can they make me let them re-test her? I know - it’s a shame with parents not able to get extra help for their kids that I now don’t know if I want it….I am sorry if this offends any one - it just has been such a hard process.Maybe it would have been a lot different if she would have qualified at a earlier age….middle school isn’t probably the best time for a child to learn they have a disability and be thrown into all special education classes.
I have even thought about home schooling her but I know that I am not a teacher and probably not capable of doing a proper job. I am just sooo worried not only about her academically but emotionally as well. I am sorry that I have gone on so long. I really would appreciate any suggestions - even criticism (just don’t be too mean!). Thanks so much for listening. Patty
Re: Dreading the start of the school year - please help!!!!
I would be asking the school for an IEP that includes supports in the least restrictive environment. This means reg ed classes with assistance in her areas of difficulty. The sped classes should be supporting her ability to perform in the reg ed classes.
My dd, who has complex LDs, has a combination of reg ed and sped classes. She did a reg ed Social Studies this last year with support and did amazingly well. If your dd would be less resistant to that type of help, then it may be something to push for. Our kids really need to be in reg ed with support so they can be successful, especially if their issues are mild.
Re-testing could be helpful. It could give information about more specific accommodations.
Re: Dreading the start of the school year - please help!!!!
Don’t kick yourself - you certainly have *not* been neglecting your daughter! You’ve made the best decisions you could with the information you had.
Also don’t assume things would have been better in all special ed. Think outside the box - she may learn more (especially the stuff that isn’t really in the curriculum) getting F’s in regular classes.
I’d figure out something that *she* will go along with and agree ahead of time what she’s going to do to maximize her chances of success. That means, first, defining “success.” Passing grades would be nice - but think of the big picture.
How much help can you (or someone else) give her with her classwork? If she’s willing to spend X hours each night on homework then she’s got a much better chance of being successful. (This might not help at all with math - but sped math may not be helping either, even though she is passing.)
Re: Dreading the start of the school year - please help!!!!
You don’t have to be a teacher to homeschool. All you need to be is a concerned parent, which you obviously are, willing to spend time one-on-one with your child. There are wonderful curriculum materials available for homeschoolers now. When you homeschool, you can pick and choose curriculums that fit your child’s learning style.
The negligence here has been on the part of the school. If your dd is disabled, then the school should have noticed that *much* earlier than middle school.
Where I am, parents have almost complete control over their child’s placement in school. If a parent says “no” to sped, the child must be mainstreamed. I don’t think that is necessarily the best course of action for your dd, but I also don’t think that putting her in all sped classes (or even some sped classes) is necessarily the best course for her either.
I would encourage you to seriously investigate homeschooling. Google “homeschooling” and your state name to find homeschooling organizations in your state. (Every state has at least one, and most have several.) Find an organization that has a hotline and call for information. (These are volunteer organizations, so you usually need to leave your name & number and wait for someone to get back to you.) Homeschooling can be a ***huge*** relief for both the student and the family. Stress interferes with learning, so the relief from stress alone starts opening doors.
A complete speech and language evaluation by a speech pathologist should show whether the comprehension difficulty is language-related or not. From your description, I am not convinced it is. For example, poor visualization skills can interfere with comprehension. For an explanation of this, go to http://www.mindprime.com and click on their demo.
I have seen children with problems who are left in school systems grow up to be adults with problems. Most schools don’t even try to remediate children once they reach middle school and high school level. They figure if they haven’t been able to “fix” the child in elementary school, nothing more can be done. The best resource for a child that age is usually a concerned parent. That’s why I urge you to learn more about homeschooling in your area. There are *many* excellent online resources for homeschooling parents, including groups who are homeschooling special needs children.
Many states and school districts allow homeschooled students to enroll part-time in school, taking perhaps two classes and extra-curricular activities at the school. An option like this could work out very well for your daughter. You will not know if you have this option, though, unless you start researching online soon.
Nancy
Re: Dreading the start of the school year - please help!!!!
You may want to check with a local tutoring center. A good one can come up with a curriculum for your daughter that the staff there can teach her, several hours a week, and you can supplement at home. This of course costs, but it may be more helpful than her current situation.
The setup may look like this: she attends the tutoring center probably no more than 8-10 hours per week. Then the rest of the time, you can either review with her, plan extra curricular learning activities, or whatever. The tutoring center should be able to help focus on what will help her and to provide more one-on-one attention than a school. This is supposed to be cheaper than a private school.
I was looking into this with my son, but I can’t stop working, unfortunately. It’s a little outside the box, but it may help.
Re: Dreading the start of the school year - please help!!!!
A few ideas:
I agree that additional testing may help tease out where her comprehension is falling down. This information could inform accommodations that would allow her to access the regular ed. curriculum. It could also inform goal areas.
A word on least restrictive environment (LRE): This does not mean the same thing for every kid, eg. general ed. A good way to think of it is as the least restrictive environment where the student can receive some educational benefit. If your daughter can be successful in general ed. with accommodations and modifications in place, that could be her LRE. Some accommodations that might help with comprehension are outlines to lectures & reading passages, a reader for written tests, books on tape, recorded lectures, etc. You can find more ideas like this on the web. If you get additional testing, inquire specifically about recommended accommodations when the professional presents the results.
Her emotional/mental health is also really important. If school isn’t seeing these effects, I suggest that you take some time at the next IEP to explain to them how she has been talking about school. Negative school feelings are certainly a precursor to failure and dropping out. In the placement discussion, this should be mentioned as a possible harmful effect of placement into 100% sped.
Ultimately, if they place her in sped 100% of the day, you can object to the placement. The “stay put” provision will apply at that point, which means that she will remain in the placement prior to the change. You would then file a complaint.
If you haven’t already, you might try to find your state’s Parent Training & Info Center. They can help you with the laws and advocacy.
As far as fitting in goes, it can be hard on kids to be in sped classes but I think it is important to reinforce that all people learn differently. Adults need to model the maturity it takes to accept differences. The important thing is that each kid gets what he/she needs to make progress.
Lastly, you clearly are not neglectful as you are trying to do what is best by your daughter’s education and well-being.
Good luck.
It sounds like she can read, but not understanding. Does she know what prefixes and suffixes mean? Is she having trouble with homonyms as they sound the same, but mean different things? Can she understand better if you read to her? I would see if they could get a speech pathologist to test her, as it sounds like that is what the councelor is suggesting.It may pinpoint where she is having trouble.Also a check into memory may be helpful , which the school psychologist could do.My daughter is the same age as yours and is in resource classes for math, english,science.She would rather be in rescource now,even though I think she is getting a water down curriculum in some classes.I do outside tutoring as I don’t feel she is getting what she needs in school.Since your daughter has had a taste of both maybe she can tell you which way she would like to go. You can use the least restrictive environment for your suggestion to the school.Once you find her particular areas of troubles then you can arrange accomodations for her and be sure to involve her as she will need to probably request it from the school.Good Luck-