I am new here.
I am sorry, I am going to intorduce my self with a big long vent.
I have never been in any support group but after over 13 years of dealing with a daughter with an IQ of 69, ADHD, and a variety of other issues, I probably should have been in some sort of support by now.
When she walks in from school, I know it is going to be a long night of fighting over the smallest issues. Usually, it is showering and wearing clean clothes. It is a battle every day. She smells so bad the teachers have complained and she is ruining everything. Clothing, bedding etc.
I try to clean her myself but I am just plain worn out and I have an 8 month old who cannot do anything for himself. My daughter chooses not to clean herself.
Tonight, we were supposed to go trick-or-treating. She has chosen not to shower for 3 days and I refuse to take her out for Halloween.
I am tired.
Anyone have an resources in the Phoenix area that can help me deal with this?
Thanks much!
Re: Another Holiday ruined
I would start with either of the following…
The Arc of Phoenix http://www.arcarizona.org/ . If they cannot directly help you, I’m sure they can direct you to an organization that can. Good luck.
Re: Another Holiday ruined
Look into resources in your area. The school district and medical community should be able to give you some suggestions. I would suggest a good behavior management consultation and program. There are many effective ways to target desirable behaviors and reinforce them. You do not have to do this alone. Be hopeful that there is help out there.
Where is her father in all this? Perhaps a man would better deal with her defiance.
Obviously you are unable to handle her. If she were my daughter she would have gotten her butt kicked by now.
Obviously you are negotiating with her. You do not negotiate with children. You do not argue with children. If they do not obey they need to face consequences.
The prblem is. You are treating her like a normal 13 yearold. She is far from normal. She’s retarded and she has a slew of other issues. She is also going through puberty but does not have the intellectual or emotional maturity to handle it.
Bottm line is. You need to kick her butt before she kicks yours.
As to her refusal to bath, give her a choice.
1. You can shower.
2. You can get dragged into the shower and scrubbed with a scrub brush.
3. you can be instittutionalized.
The ball is in your court mom. Don’t screw up.