Your desire to help your daughter progress at her own rate of growth rather than the curriculum offered by a general education program is fine.

The only way to clarify where your daughter’s areas of learning strengths and learning weaknesses are is through formal testing. These studies are called psycho-educational evaluations.

The earliest clues of a possible learning disability might be noticed in preschool. Formal testing often is not done until first grade.

Speech and language therapists evaluate for a possible auditory processing difficulty. Most health insurance companies will pay for this assessment.

Submit a letter to the principal requesting a meeting to discuss your child’s difficulties. The principal must schedule this meeting within 30 days.

Wow!! Talk about passing the buck. Your descriptions suggest that she might have a learning disability and/or ADHD. One does not have to guess which.

Your descriptions of your son suggest that he has a language-based Learning Disability and possibly a receptive/expressive Language Disability. He also sounds as if he has ADHD.