My Thirteenth Winter: A Memoir

Remember the kids who just didn’t fit in? Maybe they stood too close, or talked too loud. Whatever the reason, we called them hurtful names, and they never understood why. Now, clinical psychologists Duke and Nowicki call these children “dyssemic,” and offer some ideas of how to help them. Dyssemic children cannot readily comprehend nonverbal messages, much as dyslexics do not correctly process the written word. Yet nonverbal communication plays a vital role in our communication with others, and children who misunderstand or misuse it may face painful social rejection. In Helping the Child Who Doesn’t Fit In, Duke and Nowicki show parents and teachers how to assess the extent of a child’s problem, as well as how to help the dyssemic child.

Author Rondalyn Varney Whitney, a pediatric occupational therapist, is the mother of Zac, a child who suffers from nonverbal learning disorder, or NLD. By definition, NLD is a neurological defect in children who are unable to recognize the nonverbal clues that make up 50 percent of communication. In Bridging the Gap, Whitney seamlessly weaves practical professional advice throughout the account of her passionate involvement with her son. She writes, “I believe that NLD, now thought to be as prevalent as dyslexia, is a difference and not a flaw.” She also warns parents and teachers that kids with NLD are likely to be misdiagnosed as lazy or defiant, so she urges readers to consider both the strengths (high intelligence and advanced verbal skills and memory) and weaknesses (low visual, spatial, and motor skills and deficits in social communication) of these kids.

It is a parent’s deepest heartache: watching a child struggle in life, desperate to help. When Katherine Cunningham’s daughter Tricia (“Tiger”) is diagnosed with dyslexia, roadblocks appear at every turn, and the entire family is forced to create its own solutions.

Kids with sensory processing disorder SPD may seem unduly sensitive to physical sensations, light, and sound, and they may react strongly to sensory events that adult and other children take in stride or totally ignore. SPD can make it hard for kids to do well in school, participate in social events, and live peaceably with other family members. Until now there have been only limited resources for parents of kids with this condition, but in this book a child advocate and child psychologist offer this comprehensive guide to parenting a child with SPD and integrating his or her care with the needs of the whole family.

The book introduces SPD and offers an overview of what it means to advocate for a child with the condition. It describes a range of activities that help strengthen family relationships, improve communication about the disorder, and deal with problem situations and conditions a child with SPD may encounter. Throughout, the book stresses the importance of whole-family involvement in the care of a child with SPD, especially the roles fathers play in care-giving. Many of the book’s ideas are illustrated with case stories that demonstrate how the book’s ideas can play out in daily life.

This book uses the Building Blocks model. The Building Blocks model is practical, supported by research, and easy to implement. It identifies ten areas important to school success (the building blocks), divided into three levels:

1. the foundational level includes attention and impulse control, emotion and behavior, self-esteem, and learning environment blocks
2. the symbolic processing and memory level contains the visual, auditory, and motor skills blocks
3. the conceptual level comprises using strategies and thinking with language and images

It’s September, which means it’s time for school to start! The alarm rings, but Sarah Jane Hartwell just burrows deeper into her covers, announcing that shes not going, wailing “I dont know anybody, and it will be hard, and … I just hate it, thats all.” Finally, Mr. Hartwell firmly orders her down to breakfast, puts her in the car and drops her off to join the children flooding through the school doors. But is Sarah who you expect her to be?