It’s So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success

A ground-breaking book on the needs and issues of girls with attentional problems: why they are often undiagnosed, how they are different from boys, and what their special needs are in school, in their social world, and at home. Age-related checklists from pre-school to high school help parents and professionals better identify and help girls with ADHD.

“Steer your students toward academic, social, and emotional success regardless of their learning styles, ability levels, skills, and behaviors. This book provides strategies and activities to differentiated instruction, engage reluctant readers and writers, boost organization and study skills and more.” — Learning Journal

When Marvin’s name is not on the class roster on the first day of school, he feels like he’s one too many – in fact he doesn’t even have a desk. Plus, Marvin can’t seem to catch on to reading as quickly as the other kids. Perhaps a little help from his teacher and his parents will give Marvin the boost he needs.

Are you brave enough to be your true self? Ikarus Jackson is, but it isn’t always easy. The people in his neighborhood point at his wings. The kids at school laugh. The teachers call him a distraction. One girl identifies with Ikarus, but she is too shy to speak up for herself, let alone for him. Maybe I should have said something to those mean kids, she thinks, when their taunts send him drifting into the sky. Inspired by Ikarus’s own courage, she sets out in search of him and so begins her own journey of self discovery — leaving both of them transformed. “I wanted to create a book that tells kids never to abandon the things that make them different, to be proud of what makes them unique. Every child has his own beauty, her own talents. Ikarus Jackson can fly through the air; I want kids to find their own set of wings and soar with him.” — Christopher Myers

This completely updated book contains new chapters on Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and on the public laws that guarantee an equal education for learning disabled children. There is also an entirely new section on learning disabled adults and the laws that protect them. Sally Smith, the parent of a learning disabled child herself, guides parents along every step of the way, from determining if their child is learning disabled to challenging the school system to provide special services. Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience at her own nationally acclaimed school, she also offers valuable strategies to teachers who are anxious or discouraged as they struggle with learning disabled students. Although there are no easy answers, Sally Smith’s experience, wealth of information, and sense of humor provide essential support.

This book tells the stories of eight people who never stopped trying. From humiliation in school and the anxiety of coping with everyday life unable to read street signs and menus, to shopping, driving, and working, these people lived in a world of dashed hopes and dreams — regardless of outward appearances — until they discovered their learning disability and unlocked their true gifts. Anyone who has ever endured a failure in school will appreciate the heartache of people who knew nothing but failure, yet held great potential.

Called “retarded,” “lazy,” “immature,” “delinquent,” and more, they managed to get by, all the while thinking that deep down they were worthless people—that everything anyone ever said about them was true. Except, as they would discover later in life, it wasn’t. Proceeds from the sale of The Pretenders will be used to further the work of the H.E.L.P. Program.