Nonverbal Learning Disabilities: A Guide to School Success

In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country’s leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting—sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they’re not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that “cool” equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of “mother blame,” “boy biology,” and “testosterone,” the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive—the emotional miseducation of boys.

This practical and compassionate guidebook enables parents to sharpen any child’s social skills by pinpointing the child’s particular social strengths and difficulties. Each chapter — from “The Shy Child” to “The Little Adult,” from “The Short-Fused Child” to “The Sensitive Soul” — uses case studies that focus on the specific social conventions that certain children don’t “get,” and offers drills that parents and teachers can use to help children understand the unspoken underpinnings of social situations, the knowledge essential to building, sustaining, and repairing relationships.

Just like other kids, Zinkoff rides his bike, hopes for snow days, and wants to be like his dad when he grows up. But Zinkoff also raises his hand with all the wrong answers, trips over his own feet, and falls down with laughter over a word like “Jabip.” Other kids have their own word to describe him, but Zinkoff is too busy to hear it. He doesn’t know he’s not like everyone else. And one winter night, Zinkoff’s differences show that any name can someday become “hero.”

Remember the kids who just didn’t fit in? Maybe they stood too close, or talked too loud. Whatever the reason, we called them hurtful names, and they never understood why. Now, clinical psychologists Duke and Nowicki call these children “dyssemic,” and offer some ideas of how to help them. Dyssemic children cannot readily comprehend nonverbal messages, much as dyslexics do not correctly process the written word. Yet nonverbal communication plays a vital role in our communication with others, and children who misunderstand or misuse it may face painful social rejection. In Helping the Child Who Doesn’t Fit In, Duke and Nowicki show parents and teachers how to assess the extent of a child’s problem, as well as how to help the dyssemic child.

Meet Eddie Minetti, human whirlwind and third-grader. He thinks, moves, and speaks quickly and it often gets him into trouble. One day at school, Eddie arrives late because he forgot his lunch, misses part of his spelling test, is accused of cheating, knocks over things, and loses the classroom’s pet rat and that’s only part of the morning! His exasperated teacher, Mrs. Pinck, says, “I’ve had enough, Eddie, enough!” That’s all it takes, and soon the entire class is taunting Eddie with his new nickname, Eddie Enough.

It’s a deadly triad: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, participate, or look away, and adults who dismiss the incidents as a normal part of childhood. Drawing on her decades of work with youth, this practical book by bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso explains the three kinds of bullying, the differences between boy and girl bullies, four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to bullying, seven steps to take if your child is a bully, how to help the bullied child heal and effectively discipline the bully, how to evaluate a school’s antibullying policy and much more.