Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

How and when does a child begin to make sense of the world? Why does a lively preschool child so often become a semiliterate and defeated school failure?

Developmental psychologist Margaret Donaldson shows that much of the intellectual framework on which we base our teaching is misleading. We both underestimate the astonishing rational powers of young children and ignore the major stumbling block that children face when starting school.

Given a setting and a language that makes sense to them in human terms, very young children can perform tasks often thought to be beyond them. The preschool child learns everything in a human situation. Only in school is he asked to acquire skills―reading, writing, arithmetic―isolated from a real-life context. This transition is difficult.

The author suggests a range of strategies that parents and schools can adopt to help children. She argues that reading is even more important than we have thought it to be, since learning to read can actually speed children through the crucial transition.

“I’m normal because I am a normal kid — going to school, being happy, getting homework, having a family. I’m not normal because I’m dyslexic…” Thus begins the autobiography of an eleven-year-old boy who describes how he created a board game based on the popular Harry Potter series and entered it into his school’s yearly Invention Convention, where it became an instant hit.

In this practical handbook for parents, clinical psychologists Brooks and Goldstein draw on their considerable experience working with children and families to demonstrate that parents’ core goal should be to instill in their children a sense of inner recourse. “A resilient child is an emotionally healthy child, equipped to successfully confront challenges and bounce back from setbacks,” they contend, and to this end they provide 10 parenting “guideposts” for nurturing the kind of resilience that helps children thrive.

Research shows that if these children do not “close the gap” before they finish third grade, they are likely to remain functionally illiterate throughout their lives. See Johnny Read! is the first book to offer practical, proven, and timely ways for parents to help their boys with this critical skill. Written by an expert teacher and educational consultant, this much-needed book answers essential questions, including: When does a reading delay become a reading problem? How, when, and where should I look for tutoring? How can I get the best help from the school? How can my son avoid (or overcome) the “Bad Boy” label? How can I help my son learn to read — and enjoy reading — at home?

Gary just can’t seem to fit in. He doesn’t have any friends, his school work is always sloppy, and his teachers endlessly criticize him. But Gary has a way to escape—he spaces out. Then one day Gary accidentally hurts someone, and now he’s being sent to a new school for kids with different learning styles. Will Gary finally be able to catch up and fit in, or will he remain the Spaceman forever?

Executive functions are the cognitive skills that help us manage our lives and be successful. Children with weak executive skills, despite their best intentions, often do their homework but forget to turn it in, wait until the last minute to start a project, lose things, or have a room that looks like a dump! The good news is that parents can do a lot to support and train their children to manage these frustrating and stressful weaknesses.